I have been a functional working member of society for nearly two weeks now. It may be the best feeling in the world, which I attribute solely to the nature of the work. The first day I shadowed, I was cussed out, confused, and completely lost. My building is an H-shape that houses three different units (I think) and classrooms and group therapy rooms and visiting rooms for each of the units (I think). Maybe there aren’t classrooms for the critical care unit.
Either way, I am in the middle of a four-day break in my schedule, which I will not have again for a very long time until I take time off. After the way my first couple of days went, I am shocked that I miss the clients, not kids, already. The last day I worked I had the opportunity to sit with a client who had been upset and had recently been self-harming. After ten minutes with the client, she gave me the instrument with which she was self-harming and her disposition was completely changed. One of the most difficult things I have encountered at work so far has been convincing some of the clients that I genuinely do see good in them. Many of them are intelligent beyond belief and creative to the extent that I feel more cultured from listening to the explanations of their art and expression. And it takes so much work to get them to believe that’s what I see even just for a minute!
I expressed my first real moral dilemma about the job with a client. He simply wanted a question answered regarding his status and privileges that he was applying to earn. However, the supervisor was involved with averting a crisis at the time, so the client waited and waited and waited and began getting impatient. My issue with residential treatment is that crises need to be managed often and those clients who are experiencing growth cannot be acknowledged as much as they ought to be. There just isn’t the manpower. However, I did manage to play a few games of Uno with the client and talk Harry Potter with him, so I feel I did what I could to be positively reinforcing.
Anyway, long story short, I love it.
In other news, I’m subbing in a spinning class tomorrow. I’m thinking it will be pretty full – it’ll be right after Thanksgiving and I do believe I have some friends coming to the class. So now I’m a little anxious; I have yet to teach people I know personally. They have the means to tease me for my cheesiness and sport psychology background. But I know they won’t because they’re wonderful!
I was going to write about anger, but I suppose I’ll wait because… I had a job interview today! And better yet, it was a job interview at a place I loved. Believe it or not, the last place I thought I would love rejected me for these reasons: 1) I was overqualified 2) I expressed interest in continuing my education, and 3) someone who had resigned decided they wanted to stick around…
…Needless to say, I was more than a little devastated. So here’s why I’m so in love with the place I interviewed today: 1) I was specifically asked about my master’s degree and whether I was certain I wanted to apply for a position that is a bachelor’s level position, 2) continuing education is encouraged, and 3) they were recently one of the NorthCoast 99, which I interpret to mean that they treat their employees pretty well, or at least they did a couple years ago.
Overall, I know the prolonged nature of this job hunting business has made me a stronger person and I’ll appreciate a full-time position so much more when I’ve earned it. But it has also made me afraid to be hopeful in this type of situation. I can’t help but fear being invested in the uncertain. If I’m invested, I have a week to wait until I’m elated or devastated. Regardless of whether or not I want to be invested in the outcome, I definitely am. So here’s hoping that “a week” is actually a real life week rather than an application process week. And, of course, here’s hoping that I get the job!
In other news, I taught my first spinning class on Thursday! I had planned the perfect inaugural workout the weekend before, added music, did some mental rehearsing… And then I couldn’t do it. I got so sick on Monday night that it’s taken me until tomorrow to eat a real meal and not regret it. My perfect first workout was going to be a strength ride, but I was too sick for that so it ended up being a more flexible endurance/interval ride. I received positive feedback for it, but I’m excited for Tuesday to see how my favorite workout plays out.
I’ll be headed back to NickReboot.com now to watch some Legends of the Hidden Temple and end this boring post. Writing about anger next time will be infinitely more entertaining for me.
I expected that becoming certified to teach spinning was not going to be an easy journey – I had to travel all the way down to Oxford to do it. Fortunately, I was able to leave work early. I typically hate leaving work early because it means my itty bitty part-time paycheck gets itty bittier. But as someone who stinks at driving after dark because she gets sleepy, I was happy to leave at 4:30 instead of 6:00.
The drive down was hardly enjoyable. First, I have this theory: Google Maps and the Ohio Turnpike are business partners. Every time I use my GPS to drive somewhere in Ohio, Google Maps tells me to use the freaking turnpike. My other option was to drive 20 miles east so that I could go southwest, so that was never going to happen.
So I reluctantly get on the turnpike. My next goal was to locate Panera, as it was nearing dinnertime and I wanted something that was not your run-of-the-mill fast food restaurant. So then I heard a rhythmic tick tick tick tick tick tick as I drove my $3.50 route and glanced around the car for the source of the annoyance. My antenna was hanging down onto my back windshield and that was the end of functional radio for the duration of my drive.
I couldn’t find a Panera until 8:00 and then I realized I forgot my toothbrush. So I’m grateful for the wonderful concierge who provided me a toothbrush and toothpaste.
The certification was better. It was almost like a conference – part of attending is knowing that you’ll gain knowledge and inspiration in the area. When I went, I thought that I had a decent grasp on this instructor thing, but after the course, I know infinitely more that will help me in…four days when I teach my first class. I was able to talk to a friend afterward about odd jobs and life after a master’s degree in KNH. So now I know that there are at least a couple people out there that understand the notion that if you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.